Many professional women spend a good deal of time worrying about whether they're letting someone down. When we work too much, our family suffers, when we try to stop working a bit early to get to an activity for our child, we worry about how our action will impact our clients or our career. When we make time for our friends, we worry about how our spouse or family will be impacted. If we're not feeling guilty about one thing, there's something else pulling at us.

One means by which women balance work and home is by beginning with a close look at their own set of core values. This can be achieved quite easily with a values assessment. Assessing your values may sound complicated, but it's really just a process of identifying those elements of life that are most important to You.

In thinking about your own values, you may already have an idea of what you'd list in your top seven or eight values. Or, you might not really know. Either way, the real secret is to identify those values that touch your heart. It's easy to say that one of your core values is responsibility or accountability, or even integrity ó because all of these things sound good. We know which values are highly respected in our particular culture, but choosing by what sounds good isn't the answer to finding your balance. The real secret in identifying your core values is in listening to what resonates with your heart.

As you begin to look at all the possible values that exist, you may find that what you thought were your core values, are really secondary values. You may discover that you connect with values like tranquility, creativity or sharing ó and that although you still value integrity and accountability, these first three values are more of the "guiding" values of your life. If you really look, they are the values behind your decisions and your lack of balance.

In going through the process of truly identifying your core values, you will come to realize why you are feeling out of balance.

As an example, I was working with a woman who had quit her job and decided instead to begin her own business and provide in-home day care. She had done this because it was very important to her to be home with her children while they were young.

My client came to me with a desire to work on being a great mom. Even though she had made a move towards one of her core values (her family) she was feeling more out of balance than ever. In the process of looking at her values, what she realized was that staying at home had negatively impacted the amount of time that she had to communicate with female friends. In realizing how important her friendships were to who she was, she found that the in trying to create a better balance in her life, she had created an new imbalance around time spent with friends.

On the surface, the imbalance felt like it was all about the parenting, but underneath there was a strong need for social interaction and friendship (She is someone you would truly call a social butterfly. She is simply radiant in social settings). My client realized that her lack of balance wasn't about parenting or her new business, but rather it was about being fully herself.

She realized that balance would be better achieved if she were able to reinstate time for her friendships. As she began to make time for her friends in her schedule, she found greater joy in her days and, in turn, felt as though she was able to be better for her kids too. In the end, she needed to balance work, family and her own needs to be her very best.

As women, we tend to be very hard on ourselves. Each of us is beautifully different and therefore, we have to cherish and embrace our differences ó because those differences are what makes the world a beautiful place.

I am not a butterfly in social settings, but she is. And when I meet someone like her in a social setting I am grateful. Together we are a compliment to each other ó and the only way to achieve this wonderful compliment is to be ourselves.

by Julie Renee Fisher, Complete Well-being Coach and Owner of Sol Journe, LLC, as well as President of Advertising by Design, Inc. Julie provides coaching and mentoring for professional women all over the world. Register for her free e-course and e-coaching at http://balanceworkandhome.soljoune.com.

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